| Reading old writing.
"I am two parts anger and fifteen parts tired."
"Breathing, thinking, feeling..... reeling."
Really takes me back, and pushes me forward, in a way. Two years ago is far away, and two years from now is just as far.
I think I'll just rest here awhile.
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| I will teach myself to draw.
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| The Frightening Power of the Church (or "How I Learned it was Never O.K. to Make a Mistake")I recall it quite clearly.
The Korean United Methodist Church, that is. The image of that brick building is burned into my memory. It had a steeple; it had stained glass windows. It was a fairly typical Methodist church.
I went every Sunday from whenever it was I began to have coherent, linearly connected memories until I left Rochester, Michigan for Seoul, Korea. I, of course - being only 7 at the time - was sitting in the children's service with Pastor.... Kim? It was probably a Kim.
Dressed up in miniature corduroy pants with a miniature Polo shirt - my mom made sure to dress me properly for our visits to the house of the Lord - I sat with a bunch of less-impeccably dressed, but equally fidgety young Korean children, listening to a sermon about sin.
"When you sin, it's like squeezing a tube of toothpaste and having the toothpaste get everywhere. No amount of effort will get that toothpaste back into the tube. That's what sin is like. When you sin, there's nothing you can ever do to take it back."
What. Horror.
To be perfectly honest, I still get afraid whenever I think of that particular sermon.
There's nothing you can ever do to take it back.
I don't know where we go from there, but I know that I can't stay paralyzed by this fear forever.
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| I packed up my regrets
Of what I said the other day
I know that it's too late
To undo the damage done
But for what it might be worth
I really am sorry, Laura
I didn't want to see
And I couldn't understand |
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| Hi Johan. I think you're the only one reading this:
I'm going to be in Korea this winter.
So.... Korea again.
I'm ready.
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